Tag Archive for 'stress'
If you’re a mom, chances are your life is a little hectic right now. The transition from school to summer can be a tricky one as your kids wind down their school year. Some may have ended school already, some have finals, half days, graduation parties and some are counting down the days until they leave for camp, head to the beach or just hang out with friends and relax at home. What does that mean for moms?
It means that you may need to be very creative in how you schedule your time during this transition. See, here’s where many moms give up their exercise or healthy eating because they may be even busier than usual with their kids. What does this lead to?
Mom becoming unfit, overweight, overwhelmed and unhappy! I’ve often seen this scenario play out with the moms I’ve coached for nearly 20 years. It starts with being over-committed and needing some extra time to get things done. Where can that time be found? Some moms find that time by giving up their exercise. Others find that time by giving up healthy eating and grabbing unhealthy food on the run , eating leftovers off their kids plates or snacking as they’re getting their kids ready to go from one activity to the next.
Some moms give up things they were doing to de-stress like seeing friends, doing yoga, meditation, journaling or simply reading a magazine. They begin to feel frustrated, resentful, start feeling unhealthy, sluggish and unhappy. They need a quick, simple way to self soothe so many moms find temporary relief by binge eating or mindlessly munching.
Not only does this unconscious self soothing technique lead to more stress and frustration, but it is also one of the most common reasons why you may begin to gain weight right now…if you don’t have a plan.
You know that I’m always talking about how everything begins with awareness and then a plan. What’s yours?
The better you are, the better you are for all within your care and reach. Imagine building a home. It begins with a strong and solid foundation. If the foundation is weak or cracked, the home will never be sturdy and secure. Well, you’re the foundation! When you’re physically fit, emotionally strong, fulfilled and happy everything works better and runs more smoothly. Keeping that in mind, please make the time to continue (or begin) whatever you need to in order to feel good. It doesn’t have to be a lot but it has to be enough to show yourself some self love and compassion. Simple things you can do now not only benefit you, but will impact and benefit everyone else too.
What’s your plan? I’d love to hear it!
Comment and share…
Are you ready to make some changes in your life? Do you have challenges in any of these areas?
* Nutrition
* Fitness
* Stress control
* Emotional health
* Relationship wellness
* Spirituality
You don’t have to wait until New Year’s Eve to make significant changes in your life. Any day can be the first day of your new lifestyle. But to make it really happen, you need a plan for success!
STEP 1: Evaluate
Take a step back and honestly look at the few months and ask yourself, ” “How did it go?” Take note of how you handled challenges that came up. Are you happy with how things have gone? I’m guessing if you are still reading this post, you are interested in changing some things. So based on your thoughts about your recent past, next determine what you want within each of those six areas moms struggle with.
Nutrition:
Do you want to lose weight? Do you want to eat healthier? Do you want to cook better meals? Do you want to food shop more effectively? Do you want to take more time to pre-plan your meals and snacks?
Fitness:
If you have not taken the time for fitness, think about what you want to do differently. Do you want to create a more exciting workout? Do you need more motivation? Would a workout buddy or new exercise program help?
Stress:
Do you need a more effective outlet for better stress control? Do you want to learn to journal, meditate or to do yoga instead of eating or doing another destructive self soothing behavior when you’re stressed? Do you want to focus on becoming very familiar with the signs and signals that let you know that your body’s under stress?
Emotions:
Do you want to become more optimistic, positive, less serious or just more fun? Do you want to react differently to challenging situations?
Relationships:
Do you need to reset boundaries, would you like to have a closer connection with your partner or do you want to have stronger, more fulfilling friendships?
Spirituality:
Is it time to pursue that goal, feel the joy, fulfillment and satisfaction that occurs when you’re truly in the zone because you’re doing what you absolutely love to do?
STEP 2: Set Goals
Once you come up with all those answers, set specific goals for where you want to be in the next year (or six months, or whatever time frame makes sense for you.) Be as specific as you can so that what you want becomes clear and it feels real down to the very last detail.
STEP 3: Consider Obstacles
This next step is crucial but often overlooked. You want to consider every obstacle you may encounter. When you consider all of your obstacles, you’re not as thrown when they arise. They’re already somewhat familiar to you and they will not derail you so easily.
STEP 4: Plan to Overcome Obstacles
Once all obstacles are considered, come up with a strategy to overcome every one of them. We often don’t think of what may derail us or what may sabotage us. That’s why when we’re faced with it for the first time, we fall off track. Without planning, we fall off and we haven’t considered how to get back on. If your goal to exercise daily will cause conflicts with your child’s sports schedule, can you ask someone to carpool? Can you exercise during the sports event (walk around the soccer field)? Will you have a supportive community to turn to for support? What else can you do overcome obstacles?
STEP 5: Set Milestones
After you’ve discovered what it is that you want, set small, manageable goals based on what you want to achieve and the strategies you just created. The reason why you break it down into small, manageable goals is to prevent overwhelm and encourage success. When you set a goal and you reach it, it builds your confidence and motivates you to continue. If your goal is to lose a significant amount of weight, set smaller goals along the way and then…
STEP 6: Measure and Reward Success
How will you measure and track your progress? Will you be tracking your clothing size? Your weight? Your mileage? Will you monitor your progress daily or weekly?
How will you reward yourself? Will you reward yourself when you reach a specific goal or when you handled something in a way that made you proud? Will you treat yourself to a manicure when you manage a week without desserts? What’s important is that you determine, set up and implement a tracking and reward system for many reasons. Besides keeping us motivated to continue, monitoring our progress and rewarding our efforts validate our progress, help us see what’s working and what’s not, helps us stay encouraged to continue, focused and on track.
If you are ready to start making some changes in your life, these steps can give you a roadmap to success. With clear goals and some advanced planning, you can make progress in building a better, happier, healthier and more fulfilled life.
While many things are out of your control, your thoughts, behaviors and actions are things you have complete control over. Destructive behaviors can lead you to continue down a negative path while taking the steps towards creating new, positive behaviors can bring you closer to becoming the woman that’s patiently waiting to be unleashed.
As always, the choice is yours.
Are you getting enough sleep? According to the latest survey from the Better Sleep Council , 68% of American women admit to getting less than 8 hours of sleep per night. You can bet that percentage is higher among moms!
Sleep eludes some of us because stresses in our lives make it difficult to quiet down and relax when it is time to go to bed. For others, nighttime interruptions keep us from getting the sleep we need.
The truth is, in order to function adequately your body requires seven to eight hours of sleep per night. Without adequate sleep, we’re left feeling irritable, cranky, short-fused, emotionally unstable, mentally cloudy, groggy, fatigued – and overweight.
And the stress and sleep cycle continues. Once you’re sleep deprived, cortisol and other stress hormones are released, which disrupt the normal rhythm of your sleep cycle. Instead of waking and feeling refreshed, high cortisol levels leave you feeling groggy and fatigued. If that weren’t bad enough, this high cortisol level that’s released during times of little sleep also increases your appetite for high fat, high sugar foods. And when we are tired, two of the ways we attempt to increase our energy are by taking in simple carbohydrates and caffeine.
Taking in simple carbohydrates (sugar) can give you a quick energy boost, but it’s also one of the easiest ways to gain weight. The calories add up quickly, you’re never full or satisfied, and the resulting sugar crash can leave you looking for another boost almost immediately.
Seeking energy through caffeine is also a recipe for trouble. You may feel nervous, anxious and shaky. While you may have an additional energy boost from the caffeine, your body still needs rest. This can result in that feeling of being “tired and wired”. You may be able to get through your day, but the artificial energy takes you further away from a healthy, balanced sleep cycle. Without healthy sleep, the stress hormones have no opportunity to rebalance, the immune system is unable to repair itself and we experience physical, mental and emotional wear and tear.
Sleep, stress, and sugar turn into a vicious cycle.
I could tell you to make sure you get those hours in and settle for nothing less. And if you could make it happen, you would see the health benefits that come from adequate, quality sleep. But for many of us, our level of sleep is not a matter of choice.
If you have young children, it may not be realistic to get those seven or eight hours of sleep, no matter what. If you are doing late night feedings, your child is having nightmares, or having trouble staying asleep, the idea of a full night’s sleep may seem priceless, but not possible. In this case, the best option may be to nap if and when you can. Even an extra fifteen or twenty minutes somewhere in your day can do wonders to refuel and recharge your body and mind.
If getting more sleep seems impossible, there are strategies you can use to make the sleep you do get more effective.
1.) Limit your caffeine and try to avoid caffeine in the afternoon and evening. The caffeine that may help you get through your afternoon will interfere with restful sleep later. Coffee, tea, soda and chocolate all contain caffeine, so use them all with discretion.
2.) Put yourself in the best mental state for sleep. Putting your thoughts, ideas, and concerns in writing and then setting them aside may help you feel better able to relax. Keeping paper and a pencil by the bed to write down any thoughts or “to dos” for the next day can help you get back to sleep quickly instead of worrying and getting up to do “one last thing”.
3.) Develop a sleep routine. Try to go to sleep at the same time, make the room dark and cool, play soft music or “white noise”. Taking a warm bath, meditating, or reading something light could all be part of your routine to prepare for sleep.
4.) Make sure your room is clean, serene and comfortable. A messy room with paperwork sitting around may remind you of all you need to do and increase your stress.
Try some of these strategies to improve the quality of your sleep. Once you’re well rested and your stress hormones are under control, you’ll be less dependent on sugar and caffeine to get through your day. Getting your sleep back on track can be a major building block for getting your mojo back!
Have you ever seen two children riding on a see-saw? It can be very interesting to watch depending on who is on either side. For example, if there is a large ten year old on one side of the see-saw and a small five year old on the other, the ten year old will be sitting on the ground, grumbling and saying how bored he is because the see-saw will not lift up. The five year old will probably be either panicking from the extreme lift off or wondering when a
nd how she will ever get back down again. Now, imagine two average sized seven year olds. They can be seen happily giggling, enjoying the ride and enjoying the experience. They are doing what’s appropriate for them, they are able to balance the see-saw because their weight is evenly distributed and they are finding joy in their experience. The point is, when the see-saw is out of balance it will not work properly and if it doesn’t work it’s just not fun.
Look at your life the same way using the same see-saw example. On one side, place your work, your responsibilities, your commitments, projects, tasks, your obligations and the stress you feel from it all on one side of the see-saw. At this point you’ll see that the see-saw is extremely heavy on one side and is far from balanced. What’s interesting though is that this is how many moms live their lives. The weight of one side of the see-saw is completely out of proportion with the weight on the other side. Just as the unevenly matched children were unhappy with this lack of balance, so are most moms. But while the mismatched children will quickly find a solution to make the see-saw more fun, most moms resign themselves to believing that there is no other alternative and keep their see-saws exactly as is. This approach leaves things terribly out of balance and simply not working.
Now go back to your see-saw and imagine what it would take to bring it into balance. First add some down time and enjoy it with music, taking a bath, reading a book, writing in a journal, meditating, visualizing or trying some deep breathing exercises. Maybe the see-saw budged a little bit. Now add a little bit of self care by finding time for exercise, eating well, getting more sleep, enjoying time with your family or pets, pursuing an interest and having a good laugh with your friends. See the see-saw start to lift? Continue to add a little pampering by finding time for a manicure, getting an overdue haircut, buying a new outfit or a great pair of shoes. The see-saw is lifting off and is much better balanced than before.
Each time you implement something pleasurable onto your see-saw it helps bring your life into balance. Joyful activities enable the see-saw to lift off while the daily stress you encounter weighs the see-saw down. The idea is to make your see-saw balance most of the time. It’s ok if it teeters because life is not perfectly balanced all the time. Throughout your day your see-saw will weigh heavier on either side depending on what you are doing, feeling and thinking. The point however is to find enough activities to lighten the heavy side so that the see-saw will work, find its balance and give you a pleasurable ride.
Debi “The Mojo Coach”
www.TheMojoCoach.com
www.AskTheMojoCoach.com
Hi Everyone,
Since the holidays are upon us, I just wanted to check in to see how you’re handling the holiday stress. While the season is special with each families unique traditions and ways of celebrating, for many it creates additional stress, anxiety and overwhelm. How can you make it less stressful? How can you enjoy it more?
So often we do things the same way year after year because it’s familiar. It’s what we know, it’s what we’re comfortable with and it’s how we’ve done things in the past. Well, that doesn’t mean it’s the best way…for you!
If something you do each holiday season brings on additional stress (holiday shopping for example) how about finding a different solution to cut back on the amount of stress that brings? (maybe do more online shopping this year). Of course you can keep doing things the same way but if you’re not happy with the results then it’s up to you to change things.
I suggest you make a list of all the things about the holiday season that gives you additional stress. Then, choose your top two or three and find a new and better solution. As you commit to your new strategy you’ll be proud of your ability to change, while you reduce your stress…and enjoy yourself more.
I’d love to hear about something new you’ve tried to reduce your level of holiday stress. If it worked for you, it may just work for someone else!
Enjoy the day!
Debi “The Mojo Coach”
www.TheMojoCoach.com
P.S. Stores are busy and great parking spots may be hard to find. It’s all about changing your perspective. Instead of being aggravated because you can’t find a close parking spot, how about enjoying the extra activity you’re able to get in by doing a little extra walking!
