2010 October Archive at themojocoach.com

Archive for October, 2010

Kids At Risk-A Look At Childhood Obesity

Published on October 25, 2010 in General. 6 Comments

Do your kids constantly ask for treats? Does it seem like cookies and candy, juice boxes and fast food meals are all they’re willing to eat? You’re not alone- many kids are attracted to things that aren’t the best nutritional choices. Maybe you are thinking, “They’re kids, it can’t be THAT bad for them.”

Let me share some frightening statistics from the International Journal of Pediatric Obesity (a problem so large that it has its own Journal!)

• Childhood obesity is the greatest health risk our kids face today

• Approximately 50% of all children are or will be overweight

• This is the first generation where kids have a lower life expectancy than their parents

We’re spending billions of dollars on healthcare and our kids are unhealthier than ever. What’s going on here?

One thing that’s going on is that the average American child’s diet consists of one third junk food. Snacks, candy and other prepackaged foods, desserts filled with far and sugar make up a large portion of their daily intake. And I’m not just talking about special occasions like Halloween and Christmas. This is every day, all day.

The “food” that kids are eating is nutrient void but dense in calories and it’s often the lowest quality calories that you can find. These are the choices that are placed at a child’s eye level in the grocery store, and it’s not by accident. Commercials promoting these high-sugar, high-fat, low-nutrition foods also air during your children’s favorite TV shows. The commercials for these foods are filled with bright colors, music, action and the promise of something special.

An additional issue is that, as a nation, we are suffering from “portion distortion”, and this includes our children. They are learning to super-size, and purchase “economy size” and “value sized” meals themselves. They are constantly being bombarded with unhealthy food choices and learning that “bigger is better.”And then the problems of low-quality, high-volume eating are compounded by an increasingly sedentary lifestyle. Think back to when you were a kid. Chances are you played outside with the neighborhood kids after school until it became dark. Kids today come home from school and many of them spend the rest of the afternoon and evening in front of a TV or computer screen.

So here’s a troubling equation for you:

Sedentary Lifestyle + High Fat/High Sugar Foods + Huge Portions = Overweight Kids

Now some kids have the opposite problem, instead of being sedentary, these kids have no down-time at all. They’re being shuffled from one activity to the next day in and day out. What are they eating during all of this “shuffle time”? For many moms, the easiest solution is either grabbing fast food to eat on the run, or grabbing some snacks for the kids to eat in the car. See where I’m going here?

In our well-meaning attempts to give the best to our children, we push the limits until the only possible way to get everything done is to cut corners. These corners frequently impact the food choices we make (for ourselves and our kids) when our lives become hectic and out of control.

So here’s another equation for you:

Overbooked Kids + Overstressed Moms + Convenience Foods = Overweight/Overstressed Kids

Take a look at how your lifestyle impacts your kids and see if it’s contributing to the development of unhealthy habits. Consider making changes that make healthy choices and a sane lifestyle part of the plan for everyone in the family. From stocking the snack cabinet with healthy choices, to making a plan to sit down as a family for a real dinner on a regular basis, to planning activities that get you all away from the TV for a few hours, you can make sure your kids start off on the right foot building a healthy lifestyle.

Yes and No Confusion-Part 2

Published on October 21, 2010 in General. 3 Comments

In the last post we looked at how many of us say “yes” to things that take us further away from what we value most like spending time with family and friends or giving ourselves some much needed self care and downtime. This post is all about what we’re saying “no” to…when we really should be saying “yes”!

Think of how often you may have said “no” to a new adventure, opportunity, possibility or situation. There was a chance for an exciting experience, a rewarding relationship or a new direction. Maybe it was an opportunity to learn, grow or evolve where you were required to leave your comfort zone in order to pursue a dream, goal or talent. You wanted to say yes, thought about it, but what did you do? You turned down the opportunity and said no!

You may have told yourself you’re too busy, too old, too heavy, not smart enough, not ready, not good looking enough, you don’t have the right resources, information or equipment. Maybe you were just afraid of the idea of change. The opportunity presented itself, you wanted to say “yes” but your uncertainty or fear stopped you cold. This is a case of yes and no confusion!

We say yes to more things than we want to in order to feel like a team player, because we feel guilty or mean saying no. Often we don’t say no just because we don’t know how to comfortably turn down a request. Then, because we’re so overwhelmed with all of the chores, responsibilities and commitments within own lives (because of saying yes too often) we say no to things that could bring us joy, passion, pleasure and purpose!

It’s time to get the right words out at the right time. It’s time to say no to things that take us further away from giving our best to ourselves and those we love, while learning to say yes to things that encourage us to look, feel and live our best right now. Also, keep in mind that saying no to something good often leaves room for you to say yes to something…great.

What exciting opportunity will you say yes to? Comment and share!

Do You Have a Case of Yes and No Confusion? Part 1

Published on October 14, 2010 in General. 3 Comments

The words yes and no are two extremely powerful words. They’re also two of the most misused words in our language today. Do you have a case of yes and no confusion and how can you tell if you do?

Let’s start with the word yes. Think of all the times you’ve said yes to an extra task, project, activity, commitment or responsibility. Maybe you said yes when you were asked to stay late at work, volunteer to help out at your child’s school or help a friend complete something they were working on. Of course your intentions were good but if you’re already overscheduled, overextended and overwhelmed with what’s on your plate, consider why you may have said yes, yet again.

We say yes to additional commitments for lots of reasons. Maybe we want to feel part of the group, like a “team player,” we want to feel like we’re contributing, helping and giving. Sometimes we say yes because it makes us feel needed, valuable or we feel “it’s the right thing to do.” Sometimes we say yes because we think that saying yes means we’re being…nice.

When we’re already overscheduled and overwhelmed, there’s a good chance we’ve neglected our own self care. Maybe with these extra responsibilities there’s no time for a workout, a pre planned healthy meal, a haircut or that long overdue manicure. Taking on another project almost ensures that taking care of ourselves gets pushed even further down on our list of priorities. We may resent the new responsibilities we’ve just taken on (or person who asked us to do them), as we wish we had a few minutes to knock a few items off our “to do lists,” reconnect with our partners, spend time with our children or even find 15 minutes to read a magazine or catch a brief nap. Now, besides taking the time to recover from our day, rejuvenate and replenish ourselves, we deplete ourselves even further as we convince ourselves that a healthy, balanced lifestyle is out of our reach.

When we take a look at what’s truly important to us, what it is that we value, we usually find that spending time friends, family and taking better care of ourselves makes up a good part of that list. Well, when we say yes to things that pull us further away from those values, we pull ourselves away from creating a lifestyle that could make us feel satisfied, healthy, happy and complete. Sure it may be agonizing when you’re expected to say yes to another task. That minute the person asking is waiting for their reply may feel like an eternity when they realize their usual “go to person” has just turned down their request. But there are two things to consider. One, you turned down their request, not them. Two, while that minute may be painful, the freedom you’ve secured to stay true to your priorities lasts much longer.

Saying yes to one thing means saying no to something else. What are you giving up every time you say yes?

Your Diet Legacy and Your Daughter

Published on October 8, 2010 in General. 5 Comments

As moms, we often try to instill our beliefs, values, ethics, morals and standards of behavior onto our children. Often, our goal is to ensure that our children learn from the benefit of our knowledge and experience so that they can create enriching, rewarding lives for themselves. So why is it then that one of the most significant messages moms often pass on to their daughters is the legacy of dieting?
Every mom wants the best for her children; there is no question about that. But unfortunately, when a mom lives through the emotional and physical pain that her overweight body may cause, she unknowingly passes the “right to diet” on as though it were a “right of passage” into womanhood.

Maybe the mom wants to prevent her daughter from suffering from a low self esteem. Maybe the mom wants to ensure that her daughter is spared the harsh judgment from others as a result of excess weight. Finally, maybe the mom regrets not having the confidence to pursue a goal or dream and wants to make sure her daughter doesn’t pass up similar opportunities.

While these goals are driven by the desire to protect and fueled with the power of love, often the greatest message that comes across is that when the daughter is ready, she’ll learn to diet just like her mom. Of course it’s not intentional but this is the “diet legacy” a mom will often pass on to her daughter. So, if this isn’t our intention, how can we teach our daughters the benefits of health and wellness without teaching them how to “diet?”

The first thing we need to do is stop dieting ourselves. We need to recognize the example we’re setting and understand that if it’s not one that benefits our daughters or ourselves, it’s worth changing. By getting rid of our own “diet mentality” we’re taking the first step to setting a better example for our children.

We also need to understand that we are our children’s greatest role models. They watch, learn and copy our behaviors and actions. If we’re berating ourselves for the way we look, we can only expect that our daughters will learn to do the same. If we fear certain foods because of the feeling of powerlessness we feel when we eat them, we’re teaching our daughters to feel that fear as well. Finally, if we’ve spent decades battling an unhealthy relationship with food, we can easily pass along this same relationship on to our children if we’re not careful.

True, lasting weight loss only occurs when changes are made slowly and gradually. The reason is because when changes are small enough, we’ve had a chance to slowly incorporate them into our routine and make them our own. As moms, we’re so overextended already. We’re often so overcommitted and overscheduled that the last thing we want to do is take on something else…especially something unpleasant. We have such a small window of “self care time” that it’s so easy to give up before we even begin. That’s what the “diet mentality” can cause. That “black or white” or “all or nothing” perspective that makes us feel that if we’re not completely overhauling our eating behaviors, it’s not worth trying at all.

It may be time to change this way of thinking in order to finally give up dieting in exchange for lasting lifestyle changes. As moms, we have so many wonderful ideas we want to pass along to our children. Dieting and the pain it causes doesn’t have to be one of them.

Me with my oldest daughter Dani-beautiful inside and out

Who You Spend Time With Determines How You Feel

Published on October 4, 2010 in General. 8 Comments

Tell me who you spend your time with and I’ll tell you how you feel. Sounds impossible? It’s really not. You see, we often take on the feelings, behaviors and attitudes of those we spend time with. For example, let’s say you have a friend or coworker who’s always complaining. She’s speaks negatively about her body, her job, her relationships and her life. She looks forward to spending time with you because it gives her an opportunity to vent and find relief. Once she’s through, she feels lighter, freer and ready to go on with her day. She enjoys speaking to you because you’re a great listener, enabling her to be heard and valued. That works for her but how do you feel? Chances are you feel drained, deflated and uninspired. Although your intention was to be a good friend, once you became involved emotionally in your friends negativity, you were brought right down with her.

Now on the other hand, let’s say you have plans to see a friend who is lighthearted, enthusiastic and embraces life with eagerness and zest. Just thinking about this friend brings a smile to your face because you know you’ll be having fun and enjoying each other’s company. After your time together, you’re excited about the rest of your day. You want to capture every moment and see all the beauty that’s around you. Your friend may not have intentionally tried to alter your thinking but her positive approach and attitude was infectious.

Which person is better for your health? Studies show that positive thinkers have a 55% lower risk of death from all causes and 23% lower risk of death from heart failure. That’s not to say that the more positive person doesn’t experience anything unpleasant. In fact, the positive, optimistic person may have experienced more unfortunate situations than the negative, pessimistic person. The result of these experiences however leaves the positive thinker with a greater appreciation, perspective and sense of gratitude. They are grateful for what they see and have because they may have something less pleasant to compare it with. When they encounter a stressful situation, they look for ways to improve it versus letting it consume them. When a problem arises, they use it as an opportunity to find the most appropriate solution, rather than dwelling or magnifying all that’s gone wrong.

The negative person works much differently. They expect negative results and when it happens, it only confirms what they’d originally predicted. They’re more comfortable judging, gossiping or criticizing because putting others down offers them some relief from their pain. The negative person maintains the role of “victim” in a script she’s written for herself. She feels other’s are responsible for her “lot in life” and often uses it as an excuse to stay exactly where she is.

Within each of us is a broad range of emotions. An optimist doesn’t only experience joy and the pessimist doesn’t only experience negativity. It’s just that the optimist chooses to expect happiness, success and pleasure and as a result, that’s what they find. The pessimist chooses to replay negative thoughts which lead to negative results. It’s a choice. We choose how we want to think, feel and act. Although we may be conditioned to think or react a certain way, if we don’t like the results it is our choice to change. That’s why if we’re working towards changing the way we think, feel and react, it’s important to be careful about the people you’re spending your time with. Look for like minded people who support, encourage and inspire you. Limit your time with people who drain, upset and frustrate you.

This is your life. You are the driver of your car on the road to fulfillment, greater purpose and happiness. While there may be many detours, you have the power to steer yourself in whichever direction you choose to go. If you want to feel good, steer yourself towards an optimistic perspective and let your relationships support your cause. If you choose pessimism, misery loves company and you’ll find many people welcoming you into their negative club. Life is a journey and we don’t travel alone. Who are you bringing on your ride?