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Mojo 911!!

Published on July 6, 2009 in General. 0 Comments

Have you ever wished that you could get private coaching from a Registered Dietitian with a Master’s Degree to create a healthy eating plan? Work one-on-one with a Personal Trainer to create a fitness routine that is just right for you? Meet with a Whole Health Coach who can show you how your current lifestyle is creating health/wellness or illness/disease?

But all of that individualized attention would cost thousands of dollars, right? Since I’m all three of those experts rolled into one (branded The Mojo Coach™ by my clients to sum it all up), I can tell you – yes, it would! And it would be worth every penny!

BUT, starting on Tuesday, July 7th at 2PM EST you can join me at www.MomTV.com for my new TV show – Mojo 911! – where I’m giving away all of this and much more… for FREE!!

I’ll be giving truckloads of information, ideas, strategies and inspiration within the six areas that as moms, we struggle with most: Nutrition/Weight Loss, Fitness, Stress Control, Emotional Health, Relationship Wellness, and Spirituality.

Each week I’ll be giving away a FREE gift: either one of my 2 CD’s, my book: The Lifestyle Fitness Program: A Six Part Plan So Every Mom Can Look, Feel and Live Her Best (recommended by Parenting Magazine), a mini coaching session, or who knows-if you live nearby I may just stop by and give you a kitchen cabinet makeover, take you on a food shopping tour or help you set up an effective home gym!

How can YOU win these FREE gifts? You’ll have to tune in each week to find out how to enter and winners will be announced each week!

If you are a mom who is ready to make lasting lifestyle changes, lose weight, become fit, healthy and happy from the inside, out…you’re going to want to tune in Tuesdays at 2PM EST at www.MomTV.com!

For nearly 20 years, I’ve inspired and empowered unfit, overweight and overwhelmed moms “get their mojo back” and now I’m eager to share everything that’s worked with moms who’ll be watching my show: Mojo 911! The program I created and teach (The Lifestyle Fitness Program) works because I know that you need a program that values your time, understands your specific needs and brings results. Also, being a mom of 4, I “get it” and know that our needs as moms are very different from the needs of others!

So please join me at 2PM EST on July 7th – and every Tuesday – on www.MomTV.com and let me help you get your mojo back!

Taking a Holiday from your Healthy Lifestyle?

Published on June 25, 2009 in General. 0 Comments

Do you consider holiday time to be a holiday from healthy eating?

If you find special occasions, like holidays and vacations, give you a great excuse to indulge in foods that aren’t usually included in your diet, maybe your everyday eating style is too restrictive. When you’re making lasting lifestyle changes to your diet, there is never a reason to be “on” or “off” because you’ve allowed for some flexibility and imperfection. Eating dessert isn’t a tragedy, because you simply understand that you’ve allowed for it, or you’ll cut back during the next meal. With healthy lifestyle changes, as opposed to dieting, you’ve also given yourself permission to indulge every so often, which often eliminates the urge to binge.

Weekend eating is often similar to eating on vacation because of the lack of structure a weekend often provides. The same ideas apply here. Allow for some imperfection to avoid the need to binge.

It’s also important to pre-plan for overeating whenever you can so you have a strategy when confronted with excess food. For example, let’s say you enjoy drinking on Saturday nights and you usually drink more than you’d like. Decide before you head out that you’ll have one glass of wine and alternate sips of wine with a glass of water. Or choose a wine spritzer to cut the amount of wine instead.

If you are heading to a picnic or party to celebrate next weekend, make sure you don’t go with a roaring appetite. It’s too easy to overindulge and by having a small snack before heading to the event, you’ll have a clearer perspective and make better choices. Once you get to the party, here are some tips to help keep things under control.

1) Have a drink in one hand (you can have a club soda, which looks like a “real” drink, and no one will bother you about not drinking), and carry a clutch or purse in the other hand. Now you have no free hands to overeat!

2) Carry your drink in one hand and a plate of fresh seasonal fruits and vegetables in the other hand. Now you are eating with minimal damage. Summer is the ideal time to fill up on these healthy treats!

3) Tell yourself that you can try three incredible looking appetizers or desserts. Taste each one, savor the flavor and enjoy! When it’s time to sit down for the meal, leave over what looks ordinary. Use the opportunity to try unusual, interesting foods while avoiding excess calories from foods you could have any time.

4) At a holiday event, allow yourself to experience the foods that you associate most strongly with that holiday. If the Fourth of July just isn’t the Fourth for you unless you eat a hot dog with everything on it, go ahead and have one! But pass on the potato salad, chips and anything else that’s just there to fill your plate. Be picky and indulge in only the foods that’ll make you feel like you’ve truly celebrated!

5) Find something else to do at the picnic or party other than eating and drinking. Play badminton, talk to your friends and family, organize the sparkler display, play with the kids. Anything that keeps you busy and away from the snacks will make the party more fun and keep you focused on the event rather than the food you aren’t eating.

So next time you are headed to an affair where the buffet tables are overflowing with delicious treats, try some of these strategies to keep yourself on track. And if you do end up overindulging, be forgiving with yourself and just get back on track with your next meal!

It’s All How You Look At It

Published on June 17, 2009 in General. 0 Comments

What’s the first thing you think when you hear the word “diet”? Most of us think about deprivation. We think of all the foods, treats, desserts and snacks that we can’t have. We’ve been told, and so we believe, that the only way we can get the weight off is by staying away from these “forbidden” foods. We think we’ll have to wait for the day when the “diet” is over and we can indulge again.

We place these foods on a pedestal because somehow they have a magical, mystical quality over us. We feel powerless when these foods are around us as if they are somehow forcing us to eat them. We may do this for a while, but eventually we give in to the powerful force of the food that’s calling us.

But consider this. What would happen if you looked at the whole diet approach much differently? If you want to lose weight your eating has to change, that’s a given. But while you’re making alterations to your diet, making healthier choices and changing your eating behaviors, instead of focusing on what you can’t have, how about turning your attention to the confidence, pride and improved self-esteem you’ll feel when you have formed new, healthier habits?

Instead of feeling angry that you can’t eat something, how about feeling proud that you’ve chosen to work toward the body you want?

Instead of struggling with the same foods that caused your weight issues for years, maybe decades, how about realizing that these particular foods simply don’t work for you and it’s your choice to exclude them from your healthy eating plan. There’s no magic force surrounding those foods. They’re not on the pedestal. They just don’t work for you.

Nothing tastes as good as the feeling of being in control over our choices, our lives and ourselves. The real deprivation is not being able to live the life we want due to the pain our relationship with certain foods have caused.

Think about how your weight has held you back. If you don’t like how you feel and look because of excess weight, you’re not as likely to feel sexy and your relationships may suffer. When you feel out of shape and unhealthy, you may feel self conscious and not be as confident or outgoing as you’d like to be. Without healthy eating and exercise, you’re also more likely to be sluggish and fatigued; leaving you less willing and able to be active with your family.

Instead of choosing to feel deprived of the foods that you have decided to limit, choose to embrace the feeling of freedom. Freedom to live the life you want by ending the tug of war you feel with certain foods. Not only will this free up mental space, but it will make you feel like you are the boss, not the chips, cookies, wine or Saturday night breadbasket.

Beware of Limiting Labels

Published on June 2, 2009 in General. 0 Comments

Were you always “the smart one”? Or “the pretty one”, “the shy one”, “the athlete” or “the geek”? It’s difficult to escape childhood without being given a label. The labels may have been flattering or they may have been demeaning. In either case, chances are you lived up to the label you were given.

Think about it. Let’s say you were “the funny one.” The attention and praise you were showered with whenever you did something funny felt great, so you kept at it in order to receive that praise. But what happened when you wanted to be intelligent and serious? Chances are you didn’t take the risk. Venturing into the unknown and risking criticism or falling short of your goal wasn’t worth losing your tried and true role as the entertainer.

Even though a label may be flattering, it’s limiting because it can prevent you from stepping out of the comfort zone of how you’re being viewed and received. We fail to strive beyond our labels. Without the label, all areas are fair game as there are no expectations of how you should behave.

People love to categorize people, places and things. It is easier for many of us to organize and compartmentalize things when we know what category everything belongs in. If you grew up in a household with siblings, maybe each of you had your own label, which served as a way to easily describe you. “The smart one”, “the pretty one”, and “the baby” may have been descriptors that helped your parents easily introduce you to their friends, but these labels could also have held you back.

What about negative labels that we may have been given, or labels we may have interpreted to be negative? If it was said enough times, we probably just accepted it to be true. Unfortunately, this is how our belief systems are formed. Someone we trust (or a group, organization, society, etc.) says the same thing with conviction over and over again. Eventually we buy into it and it becomes part of our beliefs.

But what if that person or group that we trust was also on the receiving end of some limiting beliefs? As a result, they may be misinformed, may not know any better, and they unknowingly pass that damage along to you. Because of your trust and belief in that authority figure, you accepted the label (good or bad) that they placed on you.

For example, let’s say you had a parent who always called you “lazy”. Maybe they were trying to motivate you to be another way or maybe they thought it was an accurate description of how you behaved. In either case, you grew up thinking, “if they said it all those times, it must be true.” So when opportunities came up, you heard that ongoing tape in your head - “you’re lazy” - and figured that whatever was involved may take too much effort for you because you are just too lazy.

Here’s the good news - you can get rid of all of these limiting beliefs once you identify them, evaluate them and decide to discard them. Just as I keep saying, it’s our job to change what we don’t like. As I’ve also said, it may not be easy, but it’s so worth it.

Can you think of some instances where your labels stand in the way of the happy, healthy verson of yourself that you want to be? Are you “the fun one” and that makes it difficult for you to say no to indulging at parties? Are you “the clumsy one” and that makes it difficult for you to try a new exercise routine?

What if you could throw away the old labels that aren’t contributing to your success and pick new ones that support your goals? What if you decided you were “the adventurous one”? Or “the healthy one”? Or “the happy one”? What would that version of you be able to do?

Accept it, Change it, Forget it

Published on May 27, 2009 in General. 0 Comments

If your best friend was criticizing herself and putting herself down, what would you do? Would you join in and tell her she is not good enough, worthy, or lovable enough? Or would you stop her immediately and tell her how beautiful and lovable she is?

If your child suffered from low self-esteem or poor self-image, you’d spend every free second reassuring him and trying to build him up.

Why are we so good to others yet so unforgiving with ourselves?

We all have quirks, faults, idiosyncracies and limitations. No one is great at everything and that’s okay. But when we focus on our faults, they overshadow our strengths and sabotage our self-esteem. This negative focus also prevents us from discovering hidden talents, untapped skills and higher aspirations because we’ve chosen to spend our energy in a negative, stagnant place.

If we have certain limitations, and we really have no interest or desire in improving them, why not take the pressure and focus off, then make the decision to accept that limitation lovingly, and let it go?

Think of how many times you have felt upset about things that you may have been able to control, but didn’t put forth your best effort, yet were unhappy with the results you received. For example, I had a client who constantly focused on her overweight body. She put herself down, complained about how much she disliked the way she looked, and felt constantly miserable with herself. To make herself feel better, she overate and over-spent. The first step was our weekly appointment, but, while she was great when we were together, her daily binges prevented weight loss and her poor self-image prevented the search to find another alternative.

She was so discouraged with herself that she refused to acknowledge any strength and any other aspect of her personality. All she saw was weakness and failure when she looked in the mirror. But she was one of the most creative people I’d ever known, with enormous creative and artistic talent. If she’d been able to focus on her strengths, she would have been in a better position to start feeling better about her accomplishments, as opposed to feeling frustrated by her faults. Maybe she could have taken some courses to find out what aspect of art proved the most interesting. She could have become a decorator or an artist. Maybe she would have become excited about a new hobby, interest, or possible career choice that would have led to feeling more satisfied as she enjoyed her newly found skill. However, she chose to remain committed to complaining about her body and herself. This is how we limit ourselves.

I’m not a gourmet cook. While I make some great meals and desserts, devoting more time to learn how to prepare elegant, gourmet meals is just not on my list of priorities right now. So now imagine me upset, frustrated and even angry with the fact that I wasn’t a gourmet chef. Wouldn’t it sound silly? At this point being frustrated or upset about my limitation would be unfair because I haven’t done much work toward that goal. Instead of struggling with the idea that I’m not a world famous chef, putting excess pressure and doubt on myself, I accept the limitation and let it go.

If you find you’re complaining about something, it’s because you think there can be a better way. That means if you’re complaining about the size of your thighs, the messiness in your home, or your lack of effective coping skills, it’s because you feel things can be another way, and with effort, can be changed to a way that better suits you. When you complain about something, see it as an important message that deep down you know it can be changed. If you choose not to change it, make the decision to end the complaints, accept things and let it go.

If you want something enough, you find a way to pursue your goal until it is achieved. At one point, you didn’t possess the skills you have now. If you deemed it important enough, you put forth the effort required to gain the skills to overcome limitations of the past. If it wasn’t important to you, it may have been easy to accept the limitation and let it go. It boils down to figuring out what you want and finding a way to make it happen. Everything is possible, but you must change your mindset first. Most often, your negative thoughts are your greatest obstacle to overcome.

Stress and Sleep

Published on May 19, 2009 in General. 0 Comments

Are you getting enough sleep? According to the latest survey from the Better Sleep Council , 68% of American women admit to getting less than 8 hours of sleep per night. You can bet that percentage is higher among moms!

Sleep eludes some of us because stresses in our lives make it difficult to quiet down and relax when it is time to go to bed. For others, nighttime interruptions keep us from getting the sleep we need.

The truth is, in order to function adequately your body requires seven to eight hours of sleep per night. Without adequate sleep, we’re left feeling irritable, cranky, short-fused, emotionally unstable, mentally cloudy, groggy, fatigued – and overweight.

And the stress and sleep cycle continues. Once you’re sleep deprived, cortisol and other stress hormones are released, which disrupt the normal rhythm of your sleep cycle. Instead of waking and feeling refreshed, high cortisol levels leave you feeling groggy and fatigued. If that weren’t bad enough, this high cortisol level that’s released during times of little sleep also increases your appetite for high fat, high sugar foods. And when we are tired, two of the ways we attempt to increase our energy are by taking in simple carbohydrates and caffeine.

Taking in simple carbohydrates (sugar) can give you a quick energy boost, but it’s also one of the easiest ways to gain weight. The calories add up quickly, you’re never full or satisfied, and the resulting sugar crash can leave you looking for another boost almost immediately.

Seeking energy through caffeine is also a recipe for trouble. You may feel nervous, anxious and shaky. While you may have an additional energy boost from the caffeine, your body still needs rest. This can result in that feeling of being “tired and wired”. You may be able to get through your day, but the artificial energy takes you further away from a healthy, balanced sleep cycle. Without healthy sleep, the stress hormones have no opportunity to rebalance, the immune system is unable to repair itself and we experience physical, mental and emotional wear and tear.

Sleep, stress, and sugar turn into a vicious cycle.

I could tell you to make sure you get those hours in and settle for nothing less. And if you could make it happen, you would see the health benefits that come from adequate, quality sleep. But for many of us, our level of sleep is not a matter of choice.

If you have young children, it may not be realistic to get those seven or eight hours of sleep, no matter what. If you are doing late night feedings, your child is having nightmares, or having trouble staying asleep, the idea of a full night’s sleep may seem priceless, but not possible. In this case, the best option may be to nap if and when you can. Even an extra fifteen or twenty minutes somewhere in your day can do wonders to refuel and recharge your body and mind.

If getting more sleep seems impossible, there are strategies you can use to make the sleep you do get more effective.

1.) Limit your caffeine and try to avoid caffeine in the afternoon and evening. The caffeine that may help you get through your afternoon will interfere with restful sleep later. Coffee, tea, soda and chocolate all contain caffeine, so use them all with discretion.

2.) Put yourself in the best mental state for sleep. Putting your thoughts, ideas, and concerns in writing and then setting them aside may help you feel better able to relax. Keeping paper and a pencil by the bed to write down any thoughts or “to dos” for the next day can help you get back to sleep quickly instead of worrying and getting up to do “one last thing”.

3.) Develop a sleep routine. Try to go to sleep at the same time, make the room dark and cool, play soft music or “white noise”. Taking a warm bath, meditating, or reading something light could all be part of your routine to prepare for sleep.

4.) Make sure your room is clean, serene and comfortable. A messy room with paperwork sitting around may remind you of all you need to do and increase your stress.

Try some of these strategies to improve the quality of your sleep. Once you’re well rested and your stress hormones are under control, you’ll be less dependent on sugar and caffeine to get through your day. Getting your sleep back on track can be a major building block for getting your mojo back!

Your Diet Legacy and Your Daughter

Published on April 23, 2009 in General. 0 Comments

As moms, we often try to instill our beliefs, values, ethics, morals and standards of behavior onto our children. Often, our goal is to ensure that our children learn from the benefit of our knowledge and experience so that they can create enriching, rewarding lives for themselves. So why is it then that one of the most significant messages moms often pass on to their daughters is the legacy of dieting?

Every mom wants the best for her children; there is no question about that. But unfortunately, when a mom lives through the emotional and physical pain that her overweight body may cause, she unknowingly passes the “right to diet” on as though it were a “right of passage” into womanhood. Maybe the mom wants to prevent her daughter from suffering from a low self esteem. Maybe the mom wants to ensure that her daughter is spared the harsh judgment from others as a result of excess weight. Finally, maybe the mom regrets not having the confidence to pursue a goal or dream and wants to make sure her daughter doesn’t pass up similar opportunities.

While these goals are driven by the desire to protect and fueled with the power of love, often the greatest message that comes across is that when the daughter is ready, she’ll learn to diet just like her mom. Of course it’s not intentional but this is the “diet legacy” a mom will often pass on to her daughter. So, if this isn’t our intention, how can we teach our daughters the benefits of health and wellness without teaching them how to “diet?”

The first thing we need to do is stop dieting ourselves. We need to recognize the example we’re setting and understand that if it’s not one that benefits our daughters or ourselves, it’s worth changing. By getting rid of our own “diet mentality” we’re taking the first step to setting a better example for our children.

We also need to understand that we are our children’s greatest role models. They watch, learn and emulate our behaviors and actions. If we’re berating ourselves for the way we look, we can only expect that our daughters will learn to do the same. If we fear certain foods because of the feeling of powerlessness we feel when we eat them, we’re teaching our daughters to feel that fear as well. Finally, if we’ve spent decades battling an unhealthy relationship with food, we can easily pass along this same relationship on to our children if we’re not careful.

True, lasting weight loss only occurs when changes are made slowly and gradually. The reason is because when changes are small enough, we’ve had a chance to slowly incorporate them into our routine and make them our own. As moms, we’re so overextended already. We’re often so overcommitted and overscheduled that the last thing we want to do is take on something else…especially something unpleasant. We have such a small window of “self care time” that it’s so easy to give up before we even begin. That’s what the “diet mentality” can cause. That “black or white” or “all or nothing” perspective that makes us feel that if we’re not completely overhauling our eating behaviors, it’s not worth trying at all.

It may be time to change this way of thinking in order to finally give up dieting in exchange for lasting lifestyle changes. As moms, we have so many wonderful ideas we want to pass along to our children. Dieting and the pain it causes doesn’t have to be one of them.

The Who, What, When, Where and How of Weight Loss

Published on April 16, 2009 in General. 0 Comments

One of the most common reasons why many of us struggle with weight loss and weight maintenance is because we fail to look at the: who, what, when, where, how and why we actually gained the weight in the first place. Once we’re able to ask ourselves these questions and come up with some insightful answers, we can understand how to finally create a weight loss plan that actually works. The first place to start is with the who of weight loss.

Who triggers you to overeat? It can be a boss who triggers us to grab foods to calm or relax us after a stressful day at the office. It can be a friend or partner who encourages us to overeat because they want a “food buddy.” It can be someone who shows their love for you through the food they’ve prepared and we eat to avoid hurting their feelings.
What types of foods you are eating? Are you having a problem with your food choices, eating too much junk food, takeout, prepared or fast food? Are the foods you’re choosing high in fat and sugar? Are your portions too big and you’re finding yourself “economy sizing”, “super sizing” or “value sizing?” Are you choosing foods that don’t satisfy or fill you adequately? Are you taking in too many liquid calories?
When are you overeating? For many people, weight issues stem from over eating the same foods at the same time. For example, many moms find they over eat their children’s snack foods, between 3-4pm. Others find that late night snacking while watching TV is the place where they’re taking in too much.
Where are you doing most of your overeating? Many moms find that they overeat at the kitchen counter while preparing food and snacks for their children. Others find that the living room couch after a long day is where the damage is done and still others can blame weight gain on the Saturday night breadbasket at their favorite restaurant.
How you’re over eating? You can be eating socially, mindlessly, binge eating or eating emotionally. With social eating you’re not hungry, but you’re simply eating to be a part of the group or the experience. You may be concerned about being judged, criticized or questioned if you don’t eat what everyone else is eating so you use the opportunity to eat foods you’d normally limit or avoid. With mindless eating, you take in extra food as you’re passing it to others, when you grab something as you see it on the counter or someone’s desk, eating while preparing food or eating while reading, watching TV or doing anything else that takes your attention away from concentrating on what you’re eating. Poor food choices or eating to improve our feelings or mood are the most common reasons for binge eating. For example, a diet high in sugar often encourages binge eating behavior because the sugar provides a quick energy surge followed by an energy crash. That crash encourages a high sugar binge in order to regain that energy so quickly gained and lost. With an emotional eating binge, we overeat to calm, numb or relax. It’s used as a means to self soothe and self medicate. It’s a technique we’ve employed to deal with our stress, fears, anger, frustration or hurt and we eat to encourage a boost of serotonin, one of the body’s “feel good” chemicals.
Why are you overeating? Questioning yourself after a binge is one of the best times to ask that question. With compassion and without judgment, simply ask yourself “what do I really need?” or “what was I really looking for?” Rarely is it food and more likely it’s compassion, security, sleep, friendship, a fulfilling project, satisfying relationship, enriching and meaningful job, more confidence or simply a call for a better way to handle your stress.

The more we understand the: who, what, when, where, how and why of weight loss, the better we can create a plan that works for us…not against us. While it may take some effort to come up with the answers, every answer you find brings you one step closer to gradual yet lasting weight loss.

Micromanaging

Published on April 9, 2009 in General. 0 Comments

Feeling a sense of control is important to your health, self esteem and well being. It helps us feel strong, empowered and in charge of our lives and the way it’s unfolding. While a sense of control is beneficial, too much control often leaves us micromanaging everything and everyone in our path. Are you micromanaging? Do you need to oversee everything and make sure it’s all done your way? Is it unsettling for you when things aren’t done to your exact specifications? Besides taking on an enormous amount of extra stress, you’re probably making things more difficult for everyone in your path. If this sounds like you, it’s time to stop micromanaging, learn to delegate and let it go. First of all, consider it from your children’s perspective.

Let’s say you ask them to make their bed. The cover may be pulled up but it’s not tucked in with military precision by any means. You’ve asked them to handle the bed making task, it doesn’t meet your approval so you decide to remake their bed. What message are your children receiving while you’re satisfying your need for a perfect house? They’re probably feeling like their efforts aren’t good enough which discourages them from trying harder while diminishing their self esteem. Here’s another example.

You’ve asked your husband or partner to go food shopping in an effort to share the workload. So far, this is a great plan. He comes home with every concoction of sugary, fatty junk food that can be found on the supermarket shelves. What do you do? Maybe you decide that he simply can’t get it right so it’s yet another job you’ll have to do. Who are you punishing here? Yes you’ll bring home some healthier options, but how about providing him with a specific list and hoping for the best? Your first option only leaves you with more work, frustration and unhappiness while he’s off the hook and wishing you could simply ask for what you want.

This next example is something way too many moms can relate to. What happens when your child comes home with a complicated project that’s due in a few days? Is it really their project, or has it become yours? Of course you want your child’s project to be completed, nicely done and timely but many moms feel that if their child’s work will be seen in or outside the classroom, it needs their decorating touch. There are a few things going on here.

The first thing worth mentioning is how does your “involvement” affect your child? Sure the project may look award winning by the time you’re through but consider the long term consequences. Your child will be doing hundreds of projects during their school career. As they grow, the time involved, difficulty and requirements will only increase. If they’ve never had an opportunity to take full responsibility for their work, their effort and their time, how will it affect them later on? Picture your child in college. If he or she never had to take responsibility for their own assignments during school because you were always on hand to help, think about how this abrupt change of events will affect him or her now. Chances are, it will be a rude and uncomfortable awakening, leaving your child frustrated, overwhelmed and anxious.

Next, take a look at how it affects you. First of all, if you have more than one child, multiply the extra project time by how many children you have. If you have a few children, you’ve just given yourself a part time job!

The trick with ending micromanaging is to delegate the task and then let it go! Sure it may not be perfect or exactly the way you want it. But try to ask yourself this very deep, spiritual and philosophical question which can only be answered after careful though and consideration. Ready, the question is…..who cares? Chances are, no one cares but you. So for your health, well being and sanity, stop micromanaging; learn to delegate then let it go. Not only will you be happier, but so will everyone else.

Seven Tips to Become a More Positive Thinker

Published on April 2, 2009 in General. 0 Comments

Have you ever noticed how good things happen to good people? There’s no mistake here. These people didn’t just “get lucky” but instead were proactive within their lives as opposed to simply reacting to things as they occur. They created the experiences they have beginning with the thoughts they think. How does this work?

Positive thoughts lead to positive feelings. These feelings lead to positive emotions. These emotions then promote positive behaviors. Finally, the positive behavior creates positive outcomes. In applying these steps to a real example, it may look something like this.

Let’s say you’re thinking about how nice it will be to spend some quality time with someone you love. Just thinking about the time you’ll spend makes you feel good. Maybe you’re feeling content, loved and happy. Those feelings lead to positive emotions such as love or joy. When you’re experiencing emotions such as love or joy, you’re more inclined to behave in a way which is in line with those feelings. Maybe you’re more supportive, loving or compassionate as a result. Because you’re more supportive or compassionate, you have more to give and behave in a manner which is conducive to showing your compassion. You may be more inclined to say or do something nice to someone, simply because you feel good.

Your random act of kindness (whether through words or deeds) may just be what the person on the other end needed. Maybe they were having a difficult day and your kind word or gesture enabled them to gain a better perspective and turn their day around. The immediate outcome may be that you’ve helped another person smile, feel valued or appreciated. The more extended outcome is that they now experience more positive thoughts which then turn it into a feeling, emotion, behavior and the cycle continues.

This entire scenario all came from just one of your positive thoughts! We have millions of thoughts throughout the course of a typical day. If more of them were positive, can you see how powerful this can be?

So if becoming a more positive thinker is on your to-do list, here are a few simple ways to begin.

1. Retrain your negative thoughts. For every negative thought you have, counter it with something positive. For example, “I’m so fat” can be countered with “I’m making healthy changes every day.”
2. Show gratitude. Here’s where you acknowledge, validate and appreciate all that you have. You recognize how blessed you are and show appreciation for all that you have and see.
3. Read positive quotes/books. Get ideas and inspiration from gurus, teachers and mentors. Learn how others create a positive outlook and get ideas from them. Also, learning from others can show you how they’ve managed difficult situations. It’s a great way to learn how they’ve turned obstacles into opportunities and used adversity as a learning tool or stepping stone to achieve something better.
4. Surround yourself with positive people. Just as how laughter is infectious, the positive thoughts, emotions and feelings from others can be infectious too. Besides being more positive, these people are also much more pleasant to be around.
5. Believe. Believe you can be a more positive thinker. You will or won’t become a more positive thinker based on your belief that you can or can’t.
6. Laugh. Not only does laughter feel good, but it’s good for your health. Studies show that laughter promotes the release of “feel good” chemicals within your body which helps to strengthen the immune system. What a funny reason to lighten up!
7. Control your thoughts. While you can’t control many things, you can always control your reaction to them. That means that an unfortunate situation can be either a minor bump in the road or a complete devastation…it’s up to you.

You may find that there will be many opportunities to become angry and upset or enlightened and enriched. The choice is always yours but as long as you do have a choice, why not choose to become a more positive thinker. By helping yourself you never know just how many other lives you may touch as a result.

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